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'Little Heaps of Junk' by Pam Ayres | 14-Apr-05

Would like to find the poem 'Little Heaps of Junk' by Pam Ayres.

71 comments have been made on this quote. Click here to read them and then add your own!

Do you know this poem? Do you have any clues to help us find it?


'Little Heaps of Junk' by Pam Ayres . How do I find it?
Hazel Coates

Could this be 'Heaps of Stuff'? It's in 'The Works' BBC Books 192.
Stephen Fryer

Where can I find the poem called "Little heaps of junk" by Pam Ayres?
Betty Leggett

Another seeker after the poem! I think it really must be Heaps of Stuff so I'll post it and you can say if it's the right one:
Heaps of Stuff

How I wish that I was tidy
How I wish that I was neat
How I wish I was methodical
Like others down out street.
I tried to stem the rising tide
I tried to hold it back
But I have been the victim
Of a heap of stuff attack.
Stephen Fryer

pam ayres
i don't want to go to school mum
where can i find it
daniel iles

yes ill marry you
Jeff Evans

would like to find the poem
'i dont want to go to school mum '
by pam ayres
lisa iles

looking for pam ayres poem about getting pregnant in her 90's... any idea which book its in or anything????
Tina Matzel

Yes, I'll marry you is one a web site: monologues.co.uk
Karen Hine

I am looking for a piece of poetry based on the Month of March, any suggestions or other places to look would be greatly appreciated.
Adam Thorpe

Where can I find Pam ayres poem I don't want to go to school mum?
Alisa Meadow

Hi I'm tring to find a cowboy poem ?? called "Pert Near" which was featured on a radio 4 programme presented by Ian McMillan on Sunday 12th March 2006, I would like details of the poem and the poet.
Many thanks
Mary kinsella

Have you written any funny poems about garden sheds? My brother-in-law has just acquired an allotment and we call him Two Shed's Trotman. He will be 50 soon.
Please help.


Lorraine Manton

I would like to find the poem emtitled Little Lawrence Greenaway
marie gray

poem about love - washing up etc and yes dear
karen shield

The Poem was called "but don't kiss me" and was written and narrated by Pam Ayres in the TV programme "Loose Women" introduced by Kaye Adams.
Jacqui Forlow

This is driving me mad! Please tell me the name of the poem and the poet whose lines include:

"beats there a heart with soul so dead ..."
Sheena reid

Where can I get the words of the "but dn't kiss me" poem?
David Crerar

HELP!? desperately seeking the words of Pam Ayres' 'But don't kiss me'
Can anyone assist please?
michael Day

I would like to find a poem that was read at a school leavers assembly. It was about "give me a child and I will mould him" - sorry but I don't know much more than that.
Many thanks
bernadette hack

Does anyone know of a suitable humorous poem for a 90th birthday (my mother!)
Barbara Tucker

Can anyone supply me with the words for a Pam Ayres poem about" packing for a holiday?"
Lesley Blythe

can you tell me the title of the Pam Ayres poem about somebody who knows everything and quote it for me
bridget newarkbridget

How do I find the words to 'but don't kiss me by Pam Ayres .

a poem about packing is called Just In Case
You'll find it in The Nations Favourite Comic Poems
Sandra Leatherbarrow

Can you e-mail me the Pam Ayres poem ' I don't want to go to school, mum"
Jemma Bachelor

My daughter wants the poem, I don't want to go to school, Mum by Pam Ayres for and oral she wants to present for her assessment.
Jill Hayes

bernadette hack was looking for a poem containing "Give me a child and I will mould him" Any luck with finding it? I would like it too! If anyone has it please forward.
robert smith

Urgently Looking for a poem about a Village Fair where Miss ? meets up with a Vicar with wondering hands - I think it may have been by Pam Ayres - need it for my daughters 21st birthday speech on 19th May as she went off to school at 6 or 7 and recited it VERY clearly to her teacher who called me in .....
The last line goes something like "A mouse - my foot - it was a hand ..... Great scott it was the Vicar's
Ruth Thompson

This is for Ruth Thomson.
The poem you are looking for is "A Hand in the Bird" by Roald Dahl. First line :-

I am a maiden who is forty

Brilliant !
jean ridley

I want to find a poem by Pam Ayres which mentions when younger yearning after and going to see Bruce Sprigsteen. I cant remember what it is called to start looking for it.
Sally Hull

I am looking for a poem that my aunt remembers - ciould be by Oswald Couldrey -

Lamb, Ham and pots of jam
Kathy Rolls

I met a lady the other day who said that she 'Went to bed with Jack Daniels, got up with will power and went around with arturitis all day'. Have you any idea if this is from a poem?
Glyn Smith

Does anyone know the poem first line 'I remember my September love'? It was recorded by David Whitfield and Robert Earl in the mid-fifties
Barbra Williams

Do you have a poem relating to wedding
anniversary. My parents are celebrating
their 50th this weed end and they love
your poetry so I would like to surprise them
with something from you.

Kind regards
Vicki Ritchie
Vicki Ritchie

pam ayres
where can i find the poem "i don't want to go to school mum?
Henry Davison Davison Bottermen

does anyone know a poem from the2nd war called smith my friend/
the least said the better, the bill unpaid the dead letter, no roses at the end of smith my friend
and it finishes for smith our brother only son of loving mother the oceans lifted and stired giving no word
gordon moore

I am trying to find the poem that pam wrote about her son growing up and becoming 18. I remember it had a line in it about Rugby. help?
Christine jones

I ashould like to find a poem which has a line in it:
translucent porcelaine and sea-green glass which I read at secondary school in the 1950s
Jacky Wilkinson
Jacqueline Wilkinson

Gordon Moore asks about a poem...it is called Missing and is by John Pudney...I have a copy but can be found in The Terrible Rain...please give Gordon my email address if he wants a copy
regards ruth
Ruth Conway

Ruth Conway has also identified the Pam Ayres poem about her son growing up and playing rugby that Christine Jones is looking for. It's called 'How can that be my baby?' from her collection "With these hands", 1997. It is also on the Pam Ayres DVD "In her own words" 2006.
Poetry Library

Those looking for poem : 'I don't want to go to school Mum' Pam Ayres : in her book 'Thoughts of a Late-Night knitter' - Arrow books - 1978
Margaret Dunn

Christine Jones requested Pam Ayres poem about her son growing up. Poem is called 'How can that be my baby?' in Pam's book 'With these hands - a collection of work' pub. Weidenfeld & nicolson 1997
Margaret Dunn

i am looking 4 a reading of pam ayres and it for my wedding all i can remember is that it start- We share today ,i know thats not much 2 go off but if u can help that would be really helpfull x
dominique hamer

the poem ' i don't want to go to school mum'is published in 'The Works' by pam ayres published by bbc books
mary shurlock

For Barbara Williams. An enquirer has contacted us with the words to My September Love:

I remember my September love
In my heart I keep the memory of

Lazy autumn days in all their glory
Nights that saw the start of our love story

I see once more

The leaves that match her golden hair
In my dreams I find her standing there

And in December - still glows the ember
of my September Love

Please get in touch with the Poetry Library as the enquirer has a recording of the song and the sheet music if you are interested.
Poetry Library

Would like to find the words of "I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth" by Pam Ayres. Help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Linda Paton

I heard a poem by Pam Ayres recently on the radio called 'Don't Start'. It was about a mother admonishing her offspring! Has it been published, and if so in what book?

Hilary Kidd

Trying to track down the poem - The Vicar's Son
As I was walking through village, along the winding Lane, I met the local Vicars son who said good morning Jane.
May I walk along with you he asked me so polite, and as it was the vicars son I thought it was allright.
It goes on for loads of verses and I would be grateful if you could point me in the right direction. Many thanks in anticipation
ray sidaway

I am looking for a poem that includes the words "dancing all night and she says about broken legs in the morning" also the poem "yes I will marry you" please help! thank you!
Roz Hester

I'm looking for a poem or ode about flower arrangers - I think one called Maud and one called Mary!
Joyce Cowern

Where can I find Pam Ayres poem

Don't ask me to the Wedding
Tim Pitt

hi where can i find a website that i can chat to people for free and it wont b bloked at skool?
delilah whipps

I am looking for the Pam Ayres poem "The Lifeguard" as I cannot find it anywhere? I know part of it then cannot remember the rest & can't find my copy - it goes:

It was on the beach at Newquay
I was strutting up and down
With me bathing suit unbuttoned
In the hopes of getting brown.
It was then I saw the lifeguard
Lying flat upon the deck,
With a crowd of nubile women
Hanging on his face and neck.
.... ??? ...... ??? ....???
I would have caught his eye lads
Had I just got there before 'em.
I strutted in the sea lads
I strutted on the sand
I strutted in the ocean
I strutted on the land.
... ..... ....???????

Please can anyone help, it's so frustrating when you can't remember any more and I've looked for this poem for years.
Can Pam help?

Dora Paynton

I'm looking for the words to a poem by Pam Ayres. It's called 'I don't want to go to school today mum'.
Can you help
Belinda Sloane

I am looking for the poem that compares life to a rugby match
Sheila Searby

i have to find 4 poems by PAM AYRES. this is my english home work. where do i find the poem 'LITTLE HEAPS OF JUNK'.

The sweetest thing walking a Cuban girl with no wings keeps me floating. With every moment I see I wish I can keep time frozen the most beautiful thing walking it's her my heart has chosen.
Traci Friday

I am looking for the poem
,Don't ask me to your wedding'

Looking for Pam Ayre's poem about being a grandparent?
Warren Scaife

I'm looking for the Pam Ayres poem that starts

Well I'm off on my holidays
It's all within my reach,
I've got myself in trim for carting deckchairs round the beach....

(and then)

With wasps all round my orange
And tar all round my legs....

and I can't remember the rest. I'm kicking myself as I had 3 of her books for years and then sent them to the 2nd hand book shop! Please help if you can,

Carmen Garside

Am trying to find the poem "how can that be my baby" by Pam Ayres.
alix allan

Trying to find Pam Ayres , We never did it very nuch ,Now we do it all the tme (snoring)...a fairly new poem I think would love the words x xx
mandy wheeler

Re. ray sidaway's request:

'The Vicar's Son,' was a bawdy poem around in the late-1940s and '50s in the UK. with a slightly different opening wording:

'One day I was walking down to an old green lane,
'When I chanced to meet the vicar's son; I did not know his name.'

It then described their sexual encounter, of which I have no details, and finished:

'And now, in good old London town,
Men flock round me like bees around honey.,
But I will not take my knickers down,
Until I've got their money.'

Does anyone have the full poem or more info?
Dan Dare

Re. Sheena reid's query:

'Bartlett's Familiar Quotations' gives it as from 'The Lay of the Last Minstrel' and the author as Sir Walter Scott. The poem actually begins:

'Breathes there a man, with soul so dead,
'Who never to himself hath said,
'This is my own, my native land.'
Dan Dare

Does anyone have the typed words for Pam Ayre's poem about snoring?
Peggy South

I remember a lot of the Vicar's Son requested by Ray Sidaway and Dan Dare but it is too bawdy to put in this open page (though it was a great help to adolescents back in the 50s and not thought too bad). If either of them sends me their email address I'll send it to them that way. amgiles01@gmail.com
Maurice Giles

As a child my mother would recite this poem,but although I remember the first verse I don't know the rest. Please help !!

One bright sunny morning, a fat little mouse who lives in a hole at the back of our house.
washed her face and brushed her brown hair and thought she'd go out and enjoy the fresh air
But before she went out she called jimmy and Jack and told them to wait till their mother came back .......
if anyone can help I will be so happy.
margaret lamont

The vicars son did ray airway find the Poe as i was walking through the village down a winding lane i met the vicars son who said good morning Jane.
If so could you send the poem to me
Thank you.
Clive Collins

How do I find But Don't Kiss Me by pam ayres
Helen Sweet

The poem "Don't Kiss Me" by Pam Ayres is published in her collection "Surgically Enhanced" published by Hodder & Stoughton in 2006.
Poetry Library

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