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I had a haddock I called it 'Captain Craddock' | 16-Aug-11

Enquirer is looking for a comic poem which contains the lines:

I had a haddock
I called it 'Captain Craddock'
After Captain Craddock
Of the Myrtles, Kew

4 comments have been made on this quote. Click here to read them and then add your own!


Do you know this poem? Do you have any clues to help us find it?


Comments:

"I had a haddock,I kept it in the paddock"

Radio 4 BBC read in front of a giggling audience,
about 10 years ago.
I am also looking for it.
Bon Chance
edwin whitefield

I'm fairly certain this was read by a guest on the Steve Wright show on radio 2..probably about 10 years ago as Edwin says... Each verse was followed by "are you ready?"...
Tom Callow

'I had a haddock' is by Patrick Barrington. Some of his other work can be found at allpoetry dot com.

I had a haddock, I called him Major Craddock
After Major Craddock of the Myrtles, Kew.
My poor haddock looked more like major Craddock
Than any other haddock that I ever knew.

I took my haddock to call on Major Craddock.
I thought it would amuse him and the two might chat;
But Major Craddock took exception to my haddock;
He didn't like a haddock with a face like that.


Rob Nowell

I had a haddock
by Patrick Barrington

I had a haddock, a young he-haddock,
His mother was from Harwich and his sire was Dutch.
I had a haddock and I loved that haddock.
I never had a haddock that I loved so much.

I had a haddock and I kept him in a paddock,
I thought he would mistake it for the wide, green sea.
But, alas, my paddock proved totally inadequ-
ate Even for a haddock as obtuse as he.

I had a haddock and I called him Major Craddock
After Major Craddock of the Myrtles, Kew.
For my poor haddock looked more like major Craddock
Than any other haddock that I ever knew.

I took my haddock to call on Major Craddock.
I thought it might amuse him and the two might chat;
But Major Craddock objected to my haddock;
He didn't like a haddock with a face like that.

I had a haddock and I kept him in a paddock,
And I used to see him gasping in the noon-day sun.
Ah, poor haddock, it was indeed a sad occ-
upation For a haddock with a sense of fun.

To help my haddock, I tried to flood the paddock.
I did it with a hosepipe and it burst one night;
And when next my haddock proceeded to the paddock
It fell into the water and was drowned outright.

I had a haddock, I also had a paddock,
But nothing is enduring in this vale of woes.
I lost my haddock, I vexed Major Craddock,
I spoiled my pretty paddock and I burst my hose.

George Bowyer


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